I realized something today...

...I will be okay. This may sound silly, but since I moved out on my own I have been worried about money issues and how I am going to balance work and school. Right now I was sitting here and freaking out over taking my availability down a day at work so I can have some more study time, and was feeling like I was losing too many hours, and as a result too much money. So I calmed down, figured out my monthly expenses as to what I am bringing in, and I realized...even with one day less, I will be fine. I will have enough money and I can better balance my school time and maybe won't be so tired and dragged down from having days off that are split up by days of work and being up early for school. And maybe I will have time to spend with my friends as well. I hate doing it, but I know I have been ignoring them entirely or just being too tired to actually go out and do something with them and as a result subjecting them to sitting on my couch watching tv/movies with me while I struggle to stay awake for a while longer to finish some homework or visit with them. It's not fair to them or to me. They are a very special part of my life, and I would hate to lose that. There is no reason why I should drag myself down so badly just so I can prove to myself that I can do this. I know I can, but I just doubt myself so much all the time, and I really don't know why. After the almost six years now that I have spent away from home, I should know that everything will be alright, and if I have survived this long, I will be fine.

And while I have always know it as well, I have realized it even more so in the last 6 months or so, that I also have fantastic parents and a spectacular Baba. While there are times where we may not have seen eye to eye on everything or times where I thought they worry too much, they are there for me no matter what, and I've come to realize how lucky I really am to have them. Especially after getting to know my ex-fiance's mom over the last 4 years who is the complete opposite of my mom, I really see how lucky I am. I think without them, I would truly be lost and definately not be where I am today.

But I am going to head out now,
Have some homework to do,
Feel much better though,
Take Care all,
Toodles

All settled in...sort of

Well I am moved into my place as of August the 15th. It's almost a month later and I still haven't finished unpacking, but oh well, I will get there yet. So far I am enjoying the new place. It is fairly large for a one bedroom and has nice giant windows, which is a plus. Still adjusting a bit to living alone, but am enjoying the experience so far and as long as I don't suddenly go broke, it should be all good...hehe.
Also leaving for Banff this Friday for the sister's wedding. Should be fun and a nice break from work and school. Now let's just hope Ian doesn't lose my cat ;)...hehe jk.

but I should go to class now,
Take Care all,
toodles